I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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