We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
