Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
