k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
