dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
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