I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
