Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
