So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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