I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
is it fun? or sober?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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