You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
