I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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