I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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