My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
