All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
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