my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Never joke about your clitoris.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
