your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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