I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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