you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize