I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
