I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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