You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
