ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
