I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
