We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
