chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Of course I have a pirate flag
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
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