IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
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Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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