I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
