Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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