it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
