My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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