Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize