I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
