What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Vodka?
Forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
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