Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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