Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Randomize
