Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
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