I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
