I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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