Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
