Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
