Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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