Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
