dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
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