You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
