whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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