I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize