Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Randomize
