Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
