My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
