So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
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