Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
