well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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