Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
