I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
