I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
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