You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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