the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I think my moral compass just broke
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
