By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
