Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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