clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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