Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
