Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
